kung barahin ka ng
“kung gusto may paraan, kung ayaw may dahilan”
wala ka nang palag, diba?
pero one time, nag create lang ako ng scenario sa utak ko revolving around that quote above. at ung one time na un eh ung naglilinis ako ng stroller ng kapatid ko. (as if anyone cares) Ü
a couple in LQ
Em-em: tigilan mo na kasi un…
Leeny: pero ano nga kasi eh..
Em-em: kung gusto may paraan, kung ayaw may dahilan
Leeny: ah! so barahan ‘to? ganun pala ha?
there are exceptions to every rule.
and may mga bagay na mahirap nang baguhin,
like the truth,
the truth is hard, even impossible, to change.
pero kung ayaw mo pa rin tanggapin ung dahilan ko, explanation ko…
oo sige aamin na ako. ayaw ko talagang tigilan un!
pero
this is me, deal with it!
love me for who i am, not for who you want me to be!
Em-em: pero gusto ko lang naman itama ung mali mo.
masama ba un?
di mo na naman na kailangan gawin un.
nandito naman ako.
ikaw ang lahat sa akin.
sana ako rin ganun sau.
Leeny: but you are not my everything and i don’t want you to be.
alam mo kung bakit? pano kung iwan mo na lang ako?
pano na ako?
you’re just a part of my life, a big part of it.
para kung mawala ka, di mawala ang buhay ko, kaya nagtitira ako para sa sarili ko.
Em-em: pero di naman kita iiwan.
Leeny: talaga?
well then,
can you promise to die after me?
can you promise NOT to die before me?
Em-em: …..
Leeny: ….
– and the quarrel continues –
o diba?
parang tanga lang?
dahil lang yan sa pamatay na pambarang “kung gusto may paraan, kung ayaw may dahilan.”
pero ang sense lang talaga nian ay sa isang relationship, walang mangyayari kung both sides ayaw magrelinquish or sumuko for the other side. compromise ba. give and take. kung di maisesettle ang difference, walang mangyayari sa relationship.
dapat may
acceptance.
compromise.
I’m so in this fire right now,
and i don’t want to be burned completely.
Fortunately, as i’ve expected, things will turn out this way!
Fire’s slowly dying!
Now, I’m about to be back in the right path, again.
I know i’ll be strayed again, some time, in the future.
I hope I’ll always find my way back.
May He have mercy upon my and our souls.
May He forgive me, once again.
Just like what I believe He did many times before.
Amen~
Parang kelan lang, kaka-enroll ko lang sa TUP!
Super nervous and whatsoever!
Pero ngaun, para ala na lang. Sanay na.
Tapos 2nd sem na.
Tapos magki-Christmas na!
Tapos new year!
Wow!
Bilis ng oras ah!
Tapos may new member of the family rin pala kami this Nov 18 lang!
Dami na nangyari!
Wala lang..
Just sharing.
Basta ako, masaya ako sa family ko!
Dalawa baby namin.
Isa damulag, si KD.
And si…. baby na wala pang name eh… XD
Un lang!!!
“Love your enemies.”
Maybe something your friends would tell you jokingly when you’re mad at someone. And what goes into your mind when you hear it? I’ve heard this quote a lot of times before and every time I hear it, the things that go through my mind are “Okay”, “Umm, yeah?”, “That’s hard!”, “Hello?!?” and some other of the sort. But it’s just until recently that I’ve really realized it’s meaning. And it’s after I’ve read and pondered over Luke 6: 32-36:
32“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ’sinners’ love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ’sinners’ do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ’sinners’ lend to ’sinners,’ expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
So now, here’s what I realized.
All people, may it be a “hulwarang estudyante”, a gangster, a greedy gambler, or just an ordinary person, whoever it is, cares about his own family or friends. A student is willing to teach fellow students about lectures and lessons. A gangster is willing to lend a hand to “resbak” for a fellow gangster. A gambler is willing to lend money other people. An ordinary person helps another person.
So what?
The point here is, you see, people are willing to help other people that are not their enemy. It’s nature, especially to us Filipinos. We have this particular principle of “utang na loob” as well as concern. But when it comes to enemies, not all people are willing to give help. Because help is done out of love or debt (utang na loob as i’ve said) and most people don’t love their enemies and therefore would not offer a hand.
The message behind?
Some gangsters are violent. Violence roots from wrath. Wrath is a sin.
Gamblers want more money. Wanting more money roots from greed. Greed is a sin.
And I mentioned above that gangster and gamblers would help others. So you see, even sinners help other people. So now I say, not because you are kind and helping to others then you are not a sinner. And not because you’re a sinner, you cannot be kind or be good to others. In the end, being kind, being helping or being good to others, does not make you clear out of sins. How about the people who are you’re enemies, are you willing to help them? love them? If you’re answer is a “no”, then you are a sinner EVEN though you love and care so much of your friends, your family, your classmates, or of some other people.
Why do I say so?
Because of Pride. One of the seven deadly sins, and often considered the most serious of the seven deadly sins and from which other sins arise. I’m not saying that loving your friends or your family IS wrong but loving ONLY them IS wrong. You may be humble towards your love ones but what about your enemies? You feel angry towards them, you hate them, you curse them and that’s because of pride. You’re not willing to forgive them and love them. Maybe now you’ll say “Why should I love them? They hurt me.” or “Forgive them? They’re the one who offended me so they should be the one to say sorry and beg for forgiveness.”. And people who say those are people who has pride.
But…
If you’ll learn to love and forgive your enemy, whether he’s the offender or not, surely, then you’ll also learn to let go of your pride. And without pride, you’ll be humble and kind, not just to your love ones, but to all, friend or foe. And wouldn’t it be nicer if you don’t have any burden inside of you? And if your enemy still treats you as an enemy, let it be, you’ve done your part, and it’s time for him to do his part as well. And besides, you’ve done something for him and if he’s not “too out of pride” to return that, then it’s up to him. If he wouldn’t return the favor, he has pride. And we know that pride is a sin.
Conclusion?
Not because someone is kind, then he’s not a sinner.
Not because someone is a sinner, then he cannot be kind.
But kindness to all, to a sinner or not, that would be real kindess.
And real kindess cannot be attained with pride, but with humility.
God bless us all.
“He who sips of many arts, drinks of none”
An aphorism I suppose to be about having focus in life.
Most people are aware how significant focus is. In the simple things of everyday life, it is present. When people watch TV, study or do just anything, they focus their attention into it. When taking pictures, which I see teenagers like me are so fond of doing, requires focusing the camera on the scene you want to photograph, the same with what cameramen do in the media.
So what?
What I just told you, is the trivial meaning of focus. Focus has a much bigger impact in our life, I reckon.
What is it?
Potential. All of us have it. Focus can stretch our potential to its fullest capacity. What is potential, anyway? “Possible but as yet not actual: having a latent possibility or likelihood of occurring, or of doing or becoming something“. Some of us has potential in music, or maybe in art.
Now here’s the relevance of Focus and Potential according to the given aphorism.
Some people, even me, I admit, chase after so many things that we dream of, that we forget to focus on one thing. Having focus can help A LOT. Like light, when focused by the magnifying glass can burn a paper, but when scattered cannot. The same with people, when focused to a single thing, can achieve great heights. Take Einstein for example. He’s truly a man of science. Consider Beethoven. He lived for music and continued living for it even after becoming deaf. If most people learn how to focus on what they really want for their self, on a single one, succes and greatness shall be with them.
Potential. Focus.
So remember to drink only of just one and don’t go sipping over here, there and then to another. But it’s not bad to try and sip from another when you already drank a lot of one.
sources: aphorism, from a book by Atty. Abangan. Potential definition, from encarta dictionary.
di ko na mawari dahil umaga na pero di pa naman sumisikat ang araw at madilim pa. kaya ganyan ang title ng aking blog entry na ito. so, bakit nga ba ganito na kaaga at gising pa ako? wala lang! napagtripan ko lang kasi na magpalit ng layout! ewan ko ba! adict lang. hahaha. [fs whore ang reason ko xp] parang bakasyon galore eh nadagdag lang naman ang friday sa aking weekend dahil di na ako pumasok nun! ahaha. pero mamaya ring gabi, uuwi na rin me sa manila. kaya goodbye uli sa cainta for one week! haaaay… sna mag-aral na kami ng java [di namana ko atat nu? xp]. oh xa, xa. naantok na talaga ako. pagkagcng ko, baka magpost na naman ako ng blog. depende! kasi may assignment pa ako at di ko pa nagagawa! hehehehe. ang galing ko talaga!! ayan, humahaba na naman. groggy na ako di pa nga ako natututlog. tama na! STOP! (.^-^.)
Gabi na ah, and late na rin. Pareho lang ung diba? So today, kaninang umaga, dami kong ginagawa sa computer, sa internet. kaso biglang nawalan ng net ung comp na ginagamit ko. pero okay lang din. kasi kung di nangyari ung baka di ako tumigil sa pag-gamit. hahaha.
dami ko talagang pangarap at gustong gawin sa buhay ko, pero di ko alam kung magsa-success ako. mahirap kasi ang walang focus eh. ung tipong super miSceLLaneOUs ba? hay naku. deviantart, friendster, at kung anu-ano pa. nag-aaral ka tapos may mga problema sa buhay! :)… pero okay lang, at least makulay ang buhay! pero parang ang sarap din ng the simple life. 
so, after ng pagco-computer, alaws na me magawa. then inantok na rin me. pero kahapon pa lang, niyaya na me ni ate chamie [cousin of mine] na pumunta sa house ng best friend nia, shi dessa. :D~ ayun, okay naman dun.
dami naman kaming nagawa. we watched a comedy movie, agent x44! bagoom! LOL! XD. luma na pero di ko pa napapanood. tapos nag jackstone din kami, kaso bitin kasi di lang man kami nagkababoy! hahaah. nakakaaliw din palang magbasa ng libro ni Bob Ong. galing nia. nabasa ko lang kanina, stainless longganisa. and ang sarap din kumain, kaso konti lang nakain ko. ehehhe, ewan ko kung bakit. narealize kong konti lang nakain ko, kasi pagdating dito sa bahay, gutom pa ako. hahaha.
so un lang. nakakaaliw ang araw na ito. andaming nangyari at ang dami ko pa rin gustong mangyari pa sa buhay ko… un lang! XD.
So the family I belong to is a family of seven members. I’d say we’re a big family XD. I have 4 brothers but my mom wants to have a daughter. She wanted to have a daughter ever since she and father got maried. Now, she’s pregnant and is about to give birth sooner or later. We still don’t know what’s the gender of the baby. And we still haven’t thought of a name to give to the baby yet.
I hope it’s a baby girl. Cuz I’ve always wondered what a girl having the genes of my father and mother would look like. I believe, if the baby’s a girl, she will be beautiful, if not, then she’ll be pretty! And for the name, I want it to be a chinese name. You know? Like ling xiaoyu from tekken :)). I’m so excited about the baby!
I HOPE IT’S A GIRL!!
so, eto na naman ako.. magpopost ng blog kahit parang ala naman yatang nakakabasa.. kahit na meron naman.. nakakalito na ha! hehehe, antok na rin kac me… kakatapos ko lang maglaro ng ffv..
mahaba-haba rin pala ang 2 weeks para sa sem break. sana naman ma-extend dahil wala naman yatang pasok sa nov 1 and 2. minsan wala na rin akong mgawa kac di ko magawa ung mga gusto kong gawin. contradictory noh? dami kong gustong gawin pero wala akong mgawa. hehehe. minsan nga napapa-isip ako, naigugol ko ba ang oras ko sa tamang mga bagay? ginawa ko ba ang tama? masasabi ko bang di naman ako nagsayang ng panahon sa kung anu-ano lang?
hmmm… basta ang alam ko ginawa ko ung mga bagay na makakapagpasaya sakin. ung makakapagtanggal ng boredom ko or kung anu paman. sa totoo lang, may mga bagay naman din akong gnawa na di lang para sa sarili ko, meron talga! promise! pero alam kong hndi lahat ng gnawa ko, tama. pero, faith na lang in God na lahat ng bagay na nangyari, hinayaan Niang mangyari, dahil may plan Xa. di alam ng tao un, dahil iba ang paningin ng tao sa paningin ni God. yan na lang cguro. mejo mahaba na rin. matutulog na rin ako. anong oras na ba?
..! ingliski~
trip lang!
[just trippin' around! :)]so here i am again. posting another blog entry though it seems no one reads it.. though there really are some who do.. hey, it’s confusing! LOL, i’m kinda sleepy that’s why. i just played ffv.
2 week was a bit long for sem break, too, i guess. i wish it’d be extended since there would be no classes on nov 1 and 2 i suppose. though some times, i don’t have things to do cuz i can’t do the things i want to do. contradictory, isn’t it? i want to do a lot of things but i don’t have things to do. LOL. sometimes, i ponder, did i spend my time doing the right things? did i do what’s right? can i say that i didn’t waste time on just anything or whatever?
hmmm… what i know is i did things that would make me happy. things that wouldn’t keep me bored or just whatever. actually, i also did things that’s not just for myself, there really are! i swear! but i do know that not all that i did was right. but, i have this faith in God that.. all that happened, He let it be because He has a plan. people don’t know what it is, because people, human beings, has a different point of view than God’s perspective. that’d be all, i think. this maybe (or may be? arrgh! i suck at english!) a bit long. i’ll go to bed now. what time is it?
wala. wala siya. wala dito. ewan ko lang. bukas na lang. wag na kayong umasa. are just some of the things i heard yesterday that didn’t made me happier or just happy.
so, what was i doing yesterday anyway? and why would these words push my patience to its limit? i was at TUP manila kahapon, nag-eenroll for the 2nd sem of my freshman year.
actually, it started nung isang araw pa. pero wala rin akong natapos kasi i arrived at school late for reasons too many to mention. so i came back for the REAL deal yesterday.
umalis ako sa bahay around 10:30am. nakarating ako sa Manila one hour later. when i got there in the univ, i saw 3 of my classmates standing just by the entrance, and by looking at their faces, i knew they weren’t in such a good mood. the moment i saw one of them na di naka-uniform, i knew why they were there sa labas. so i approached them and ask them what’s going on. and i was right. Si Angela, the one not wearing school uniform, was not allowed to enter the univ. the same thing happened to me two days ago. but i made a way through. after some chat, i left them to get my classcards from michelle, my friend and classmate, that i asked to get my classcards for me. she was in a nearby computer shop and di pa din siya tpos magenroll. when i got my classcards from her, i asked if she could go with me but she’s with someone so she can’t and then i left.
i stll have 3 classcards not in my hands. two of my profs require students to personally get their own cards. so went back to the univ and my 3 other classmates weren’t where they used to be. now, i entered TUP, equipped with all the requirements (except for the 3 cards i still have to get), and from that moment, i didn’t thought that i have a lot of things to face ahead of me. it’s the start of trials, harships, challenges, fights, obstacles, hurdles and walls to break (well, not literaly ;P). maybe i’m just exagerating a bit.. or maybe not.
the 1st card was easy to get. it was just like a pieace of cake watitng in a table to be eaten anytime. i just went to the math dept. talk to my tirgo. prof, sir mangao, who’s playing zuma and then get my card. the 2nd the 3rd ones was a bit compicated to get. my chem. prof, Ma’am Gatmaytan is not around the school by that time. i asked a teacher from the same dept. she belongs to. and his answer to me was…
wala siya.
i asked, darating po kaya siya?
but the teacher has no idea.
i decided to go home kac kung incomplete din ang cc ko, i cannot enroll. but a sight in the stairs changd my decision. Ma’am Gatmaytan was there. I asked here if i could get my classcard. Then she told me to get it from mr. sulliman, probably co-teacher nia, in room 305.
now that i have all my class cards, makakapagsimula na ako. i looked for angels para sabay na kami and para makuha nia rin ung card nia. buti na lang mabilis siyang nakita.
Step 1. pa lang po ako
Paadvise and kumuha ng reg form. Not much problem until i had to copy the schedule. wala nang schedule for first year na nakasulat sa board sa room na kopyahan ng sched. so hinabol pa namin ni angela si chris ann na nagpaalam na uuwi na. from 3rd floor, tumakbo kami pababa at palabas ng univ. at naabutan naman namin si chris. iniwan na lang sakin ni chris ung reg form nia dahil nagmamadali na xang umuwi, ewn ko kung bakit and si angela umuwi na lang din dahil wala xang card sa nstp.
after kong macopy yung schedule, magpapapirma na ako sa adviser ko. so bumalik ako sa third floor sa math dept. ang nakapirma dun sa reg form ni chris ann is si mr francis dela cruz.i asked around and…
wala siya.
hay naku! yan na naman! buti na ang pwede pirmahan ng ibang prof un card ko dahil regular ako. dyan natatapos and unang parte ng enrollment.
that was the easy part pa lang.
etong susunod ang patayan!
The ASSESSMENT togehter with payment, etc.
i submitted my reg form para mapa-assess. kumpleto ang requirements. the latest reg form, the old one and and pamatay na OR. so i was there outside the admin building with all the other students, naghihintay para marelease ang aming reg form.
and sinabi naman ng isang nandun sa loob, pasigaw pang magsalita
wag na kayong umasa na makukuha niyo ngayon ‘to…
but i was dedicated to reach my goal. to be enrolled. so, i stood there and waited patiently. after about 2 hours or so of watching all them people there coming and going out
of the accounting office, i made my move. i don’t what’s happening anymore. am i waiting in the right place? some of the people there are even saying that they were there since it wasjust 8am. so i started to make moves.
first, i approached the one releasing the forms.
i asked pano po kung yung pinasa may OR na.
he replied sabi naman namin wag nang ipasa kung may OR na, diretso ipaassess.
ganun ba? eh diba dito magpapa-assess. dito DAW ksi ung assessment sabi ng mga tinanong ko na tapos nang mag-enroll. credible sources naman ung mga un dahil kilala ko un. sa isip ko lang
tinanong ko naman san pa po bang pwedeng dalhin un?
he answered hindi ko alam…
i said salamat po to him kasi nalaman kong di na ako dapat maghintay dun.
so pumunta ako sa covered court kasi may nagrerelease DIN DAW dun, sabi ng isang student na nandun na tinanong ko. pagpunta ko naman dun, nakailang balik at palit ung nagrerelease ng forms. una guard then isa pang yatang guard na iba naman ung suot.
another wait, that’s what’s on my mind. he called names, one by one, slowly. i really mean slowly. not the way he read, but the way he proceeded from one form to another. hello?!? why is it like there’s no time to make up to. the sun is already setting and i hear people around saying it’s already pass 5:30pm. office hours is done. before he could even finish reding ALL the forms he’s holding, he said..
paulit-ulit na lang to…
and he put the differently colored forms on the floor and talked to the students asking things.
in my mind..
sure ka? ni hindi mo pa nga natatawag ung skin eh. cuz i have strong feeling na nandun ung sakin. isa sa few orange forms na nandun ay for sure sakin at tumigil na xa na di pa nakakaabot sa mga orange forms. pag yung saking nakita ko dito, naku!
and i started looking for my form. and guess what? i saw it. one thing. i was happy.
then i proceeded to the cashier at nagbayad dun. then pumunta ako sa Office for Student Affairs for id validation and to get my student’s handbook.
finally, kinuha ko na ung classcards ko from the Registrar and leave the dean’s copy form sa math dept. sabi pa nga ni ma’am garcia, my prof in Computer Science class
ngayon ka lang natapos?
it was already around 6pm nun. ung reg form ni chris iniwanan ko sa secu. guard sa entrance. nakuha niya naman daw kaninang umagawa, she texted me.
6pm. wow. and i haven’t eaten lunch yet so i went so SM Manila and bought a Happy Meal 
in McDo. Yay me! I have a toy! But I didn’t eat the meal just yet. Bumili ako ng waffle para makakain sa bus. At dyan natatapos and kwento.
So what can i say about it? I don’t see this experience entirely negative. I kept my cool while dealing with the things i have to, even though there are many things going on inside my mind. I felt different emotions but it didn’t control my actions. From yesterday, I learned more about…
Patience. this really helped a lot.
Socialize. don’t be too dependent but surely, other people can help you, just ask.
Be cool, just relax. if you get angry, things wouldn’t get any better. you’ll be stressed but things will still work the way they are.
God. i really thank Him for helping me althroughout. given me wisdom that helped me make the right choice and a whole bunch of other things.
i guess that’s all i have to say. i better get ready for the next school year, for surely, ENROLLMENT will happen again.
